life hit me hard. Right in the chest. Its almost suffocating. The sinking feelings is retuning. The feelings of knowing your smile is fake and wondering why you’re smiling is back. When you’re just sitting there and someone says something that you think is funny but you cant find the smile or laughter.. So you just sit there, smile, and chuckle. I sit there with my fake smile and my fake laughter and in my head I wonder why I feel the need to lie to others.. Its because if you don’t, people won’t like you. They won’t wanna be around you. society is so fucked. People, your friends, your family, they all say to be real, be yourself and to speak whats on your mind. They don’t really mean it.. Its false. No one wants a completely real person. If I spoke what was on my mind, If I was real all the time.. No one would like me. That’s the cold truth. I’m okay with it that way. They are just kind of hypocritical. I hate my life so much. No one even understands. I’m a fake. People who really know me, don’t even want me. Why? Cause’ I’m a terrible person. I fucking suck. My personality is terrible. I’m not pretty. I’m fucking mean.. Who would want that? Not me. I understand why know one else does. I just want to leave. I want to leave everyone and everything. I hate my life. I just want to cry, but I cant find the tears. I’m so upset right now… I’m so.. so.. sooo. upset.. I cant take it… I cant handle all of this shit anymore. </3

I’m so thankful for you. You have no idea. If I hadn’t met you my life would be so much different right now, for the worse. With out you my friends would have gotten me to do things like drugs, sex, alcohol.. My life would be so messed up.. My life was heading in that direction when I met you.. Yours was headed the same direction. However, a year later… after being friends for a while, we had that date and thats when everything changed. THANK YOU! Thank you for showing me that its okay to not do everything my friends do. I don’t have to drink, I don’t have to smoke, I don’t have to be just like them. You taught me these things. Not intentionally, but just by being a good person. I looked up to you, I still do, and I always will. Your the best influence my life has ever had. I thank you for being there, for guiding me into the light. I appreciate you, sweetie.

Hello cuties. I feel great! Actually, I’m sick. So I feel like poopies. BUT, emotionally I’m lovely! I’ve been trying to be positive so with the power attraction I’ll attract good things into my life.. IT REALLY WORKS! I have all my friends I could possibly need/want. I feel pretty. I forgave my mate for sleeping with whore bag. XD My life is heading in a GREAT direction! This weekend I’m going to Chicago with one of my best guy friends and his mom! Then in march I’m going on vacation with my best friend Ber! In April My GED classes will start (with my mate) and I’ll get my GED. Then in may I’m going on a cruise! When I get back I’m going to enroll for my classes at Paul Mitchells School of cosmetology! I’ll be getting a pell grant for college! SO with my extra money I’ll buy a car! My plans for my future just make me so happy. I do need a job still.. But I cannot find one! >.< …. then again I’m not really looking either. Haha. I stopped caring what people think.. once again. XD I see my best friend almost everyday and I see my mate not enough but some. I just… I’m so… content with my life. <3 What more could I possibly ask for?

I’ll be posting pictures, videos, music, paragraphs of text. Anything really, that’s part of my life. :3 I don’t expect many followers. However I’d be greatly appreciative for the ones I do get. <3

princesskittenn:

He is the best little sweetie pie evaaa! <3 I just wanna give him lots of itty bitty kisses. <3

(Source: princesskittenn)